Bad judgement

This is gradually turning into a sort of journal of self-doubt and paranoia and neuroses, rather than autism.  Like... every time I really screw up on something, or think I've screwed up on something, I start worrying at it and dissecting it and picking it apart.  I can justify its inclusion in an autism journal - barely - by relating it to certain autistic thought processes.  But then I remember that these are thought processes that a lot of people have.  Just... you know... probably that bit more acute in an autistic person.

So then I start wondering just how you measure that sort of thing.  How can you compare the levels of self-doubt I have to the levels of self-doubt you have?

I suppose, though, that I tend to have repetitive thought processes and these can easily trip over into obsessive thought processes.  And that's where the neuroses lie.  And that's when my brain just won't shut up and give me peace.

There are times when one mistake leads to another and another.  The initial mistake is bad enough, but then there are attempts to apologise or to make amends and each time the initial mistake is compounded and ultimately becomes much, much worse.

Sometimes it's impossible to know how to stop screwing up.