Photography: G. Farquhar
Model: G. Farquhar
Digital editing: G. Farquhar
I started First Year at Powis Academy in Aberdeen, less than a year after my little brother died. At the time, I was suffering a great deal, but had no way of expressing it – instead I bottled it all up and just carried on with my life. I remember enduring an intense amount of stress and grief and I remember responding to this with a sort of numbness. It was an absolutely horrible time in my life and the only time that ever matched it in sheer intensity was a sequence of events that took place in 2009.
This report card came from my first year at Powis Academy (now known as St. Machar Academy). My mum gave it to me fairly recently, and I was intrigued to notice how the words “tries hard” (or variations of them) kept turning up. I’m described as being “slow” and “struggling”… and the overwhelming impression I get from this card is of a kid who’s essentially… a bit dim. Well-meaning perhaps, but simply not up to the tasks ahead.
At the time, nobody knew I had Asperger’s Syndrome. Everything might have gone very different for me if that had been the case. There was even a time, when boarding school was discussed. And also, for a kid who was desperate to escape from some very harsh realities – at home, at school and basically everywhere I turned – that was an amazing prospect. Also, I had only recently stopped reading Enid Blyton novels, so my impression of boarding school was definitely influenced by those stories. Ultimately, nothing came of the boarding school discussions. But if it had been known that I had Asperger’s Syndrome, that would have definitely tipped the scales in the other direction. So in that area at least, there’s a recognisable element in which my life would have been very different.
In the end, I persevered. Not through strength of will or of character or anything like that. But by enduring every day and week and month until things got better and until all the tragedies and traumas and ordeals were left behind. We all have our scars. Most of us recover from them.
And in 2009 with the car accident and the period of homelessness and the loss of purpose and the end of a career and the convalescence… and the sheer, mind-numbing tedium that was the inevitable result of having nothing to do after I’d grown accustomed to working a sixty hour week. I discovered PhotoShop. I discovered a talent in digital art. I found a new business to get involved in. I was diagnosed as having Asperger’s Syndrome. I found a new purpose – and it is absolutely vital to have some sort of purpose going on.
The car accident was devastating. But it was definitely a catalyst for a lot of other things to happen. They were difficult and stressful and traumatic. But I endured. And things got better.
Model: G. Farquhar
Digital editing: G. Farquhar
I started First Year at Powis Academy in Aberdeen, less than a year after my little brother died. At the time, I was suffering a great deal, but had no way of expressing it – instead I bottled it all up and just carried on with my life. I remember enduring an intense amount of stress and grief and I remember responding to this with a sort of numbness. It was an absolutely horrible time in my life and the only time that ever matched it in sheer intensity was a sequence of events that took place in 2009.
This report card came from my first year at Powis Academy (now known as St. Machar Academy). My mum gave it to me fairly recently, and I was intrigued to notice how the words “tries hard” (or variations of them) kept turning up. I’m described as being “slow” and “struggling”… and the overwhelming impression I get from this card is of a kid who’s essentially… a bit dim. Well-meaning perhaps, but simply not up to the tasks ahead.
At the time, nobody knew I had Asperger’s Syndrome. Everything might have gone very different for me if that had been the case. There was even a time, when boarding school was discussed. And also, for a kid who was desperate to escape from some very harsh realities – at home, at school and basically everywhere I turned – that was an amazing prospect. Also, I had only recently stopped reading Enid Blyton novels, so my impression of boarding school was definitely influenced by those stories. Ultimately, nothing came of the boarding school discussions. But if it had been known that I had Asperger’s Syndrome, that would have definitely tipped the scales in the other direction. So in that area at least, there’s a recognisable element in which my life would have been very different.
In the end, I persevered. Not through strength of will or of character or anything like that. But by enduring every day and week and month until things got better and until all the tragedies and traumas and ordeals were left behind. We all have our scars. Most of us recover from them.
And in 2009 with the car accident and the period of homelessness and the loss of purpose and the end of a career and the convalescence… and the sheer, mind-numbing tedium that was the inevitable result of having nothing to do after I’d grown accustomed to working a sixty hour week. I discovered PhotoShop. I discovered a talent in digital art. I found a new business to get involved in. I was diagnosed as having Asperger’s Syndrome. I found a new purpose – and it is absolutely vital to have some sort of purpose going on.
The car accident was devastating. But it was definitely a catalyst for a lot of other things to happen. They were difficult and stressful and traumatic. But I endured. And things got better.
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